Rita, a Sinhalese Buddhist girl and Soundaranayagam, a Tamil Hindu boy fell in love and went on to get married and have eight children. The first of the eight children was born in Colombo Sri Lanka on May 26th 1946 and named Vasanthadevi Soundaranayagam.
Being the oldest of eight children, Vasantha’s mom had given her the responsibility of waking up early, cooking for her younger siblings, packing their lunches and sending them off to school, before heading to school herself. This made it difficult for her to do well in school so instead she focused that energy on sports. She loved running, relay and other track and field sports. She would often come home with various sports ribbons and medals from her school days. Her love for sports carried on throughout her entire life. Until the end, she was involved in as many physical activities as her body would allow.
Vasantha would grow up as a daddy’s girl, and although her father and mother had a love marriage, Vasantha was bought up as a sheltered Tamil girl. For example, her father would make her go to another room where she would not be seen if a boy was in the house. Vasantha did not know much of the outside world as a kid; she would often say, it was whatever her father allowed her to see. This was fine with her however, as she loved her father more than anyone else and would do whatever he asked happily.
2) Her father being a Hindu Tamil from the village of Karaveddy, wanted to keep his favourite daughter as close to his roots as possible, leading him to arrange a marriage for Vasantha at the age of 19. He chose an educated groom named Kandasamy who he knew from Karaveddy. This groom however did not have an ordinary job, he was a fulltime political party member.
When Vasantha saw him for the first time in a suit, she was mesmerized and agreed to marry him. The two wed on June 8, 1965. Unfortunately, her mother Rita, was not fond of this marriage and this caused their relationship to drift apart. Six months after her wedding, Vasantha’s father died. This devastation was the last straw that broke the connection to her birth family. She only managed to see her family a few times throughout her marriage, before completely losing touch with them.
Kandasamy was a politician and was completely opposite to Vasantha. He was very well read and worldly while she hadn’t seen much of the outside world. The first time Kandasamy brought Vasantha to a movie theatre, Vasantha kept trying to look behind the screen as she thought there were actors behind the screen. Kandasamy just laughed.
Kandasamy had a cousin who had previously liked him, and she would often times pinch Vasantha and tell her ‘you stole him from me’. This same cousin would later tell Vasantha, ‘God bless your soul, I could have never endured what you did’. This was because Vasantha lived a very hard life with her politician husband. As a result of his work, they had to move many times throughout their marriage, leaving them without a stable life for many, many years.
As a result of her husband’s political activism, in mid-1960, he was arrested by the police in Jaffna. Despite this hardship, in 1967 however, their first child Bharathymohan was born. Then when Vasantha was pregnant with her second child, Ezhabharathy, she was beaten by the police. The effects of this episode continue to affect Bharathy, causing her headaches to this day.
In 1971, they moved to Trincomale and Kandasamy was arrested again due to the uprising against the government. For the next two years, Kandasamy was in and out of jail. Jeyabharathy was born when Kandasamy was in prison. This was a particularly difficult time as they did not have any income and in order to survive, she pawned her jewelleries and worked in a neighbour’s home in order to feed and raise her three children. Often times when a curfew was set for the city, she would bravely go and get rations of food for her family and neighbours, something the men were too scared to do. Until the year of 1992, Vasantha did not wear any jewelry around her neck, leading her to cover her neck while wearing sarees.
The hardship did not end with Kandasamy and Vasantha; their three children also endured hardships due to their father’s career. They went many days with only one meal, if that, and had one outfit for the entire year. They also spent many years of their life in huts and camps. In addition to this, every time Kandasamy was imprisoned (for political reasons), Vasantha had to single handily bail him out. This wasn’t easy for a woman at that time, especially one with three small children all under the age of five. Whenever required, Vasantha took on odd jobs like cooking and cleaning, to keep her children alive, while her husband continued his political struggle.
Until 1976, Kandasamy worked with a political party and did trade union work. Shortly after, as his political career spiraled downward, he turned to alcohol, which was just one more thing Vasantha had to endure for quite some time. By the end of 1976, Kandasamy left the party and became a successful Labour Tribunal Consultant. As he worked on behalf of plantation workers, he did not earn a lot of money which meant the family continued to struggle for daily expenses.
After the last time he was imprisoned in 1982, they moved from upcountry Hatton to Jaffna in 1983 as refugees – this was a result of Black July. While they lived in a refugee camp in Gurunagar for a short period, they moved to and lived in Navatkuli until 1988. As it was difficult to find a good paying job, Kandasamy moved back to Colombo and Vasantha and the kids stayed back in Jaffna. Bharathymohan was accepted to the University of Jaffna while Ezhabharathy and Jeyabharathy were unable to complete their studies due to their family circumstance. By 1990, the situation in Jaffna became dire and they moved from Jaffna to Colombo to be with Kandasamy.
Shortly after moving to Colombo, through Kandasamy’s sister Sarojini, Bharathy was proposed to and sent off to Canada at the age of 20 to get married to a man named Satkunarajah; this would be the last time Bharathy would see her father.
Sarojini, her husband and their two daughters Sharmila and Nishanthika came to Colombo because of the war in Northern Jaffna, leaving their sons Sukumar and Sathees in Kilinochi because of the pass system in that time. Kandasamy and Vasantha became attached to Sarojini’s daughter Ni, who started to live with them. Ni would grow to call Vasantha “amma”, as she spent all of her time with her. One day Ni reached for Kandasamy’s beer bottle to have a sip, making that the last time he ever touched alcohol. Slowly they believed their lives were starting to get better, tightening their bond to Ni.
On December 31st 1994, on Mohan’s birthday, the family was waiting for Mohan to come to have dinner. Unfortunately, an unknown gunman entered the home and Kandasamy was shot for political reasons. Upon entering the house, Mohan immediately rushed his father and Jeya to the hospital in an auto, but on the way, he watched helplessly as his father died on his lap.
During this incident, Vasantha had a metal piece go into her body, a piece she would often have to explain to airport officials for the rest of her life. Jeya, who was also in the room, fell and hit her head on a table, placing her in a coma for months to follow. Even after she recovered from the initial coma, she was required to make numerous hospital visits for many years to follow. After the incident, everyone around Vasantha thought she wouldn’t make it and the passing of her husband would spiral her into a depression, however she was the complete opposite and put on a brave face for her family and got right back down to business. She immediately went into protector mode and went back to taking care of her family.
Following this incident, fearing the safety of their family, Vasantha, Mohan and Jeya agreed to leave the country when they received an opportunity to migrate to Canada, where they would go to live with their daughter and sister Bharathy. There was only one condition, they would only leave if Ni, would be able to go with them to Canada. It was a tough decision, but Sarojini made one last sacrifice for her brother, and allowed her daughter to be legally adopted by Vasantha and be taken to Canada.
Vasantha, Mohan, Jeya and Ni landed in Canada on January 17, 1996. They were overwhelmed to be greeted at the airport in Canada, not only by Bharathy, but also by Satkunarajahs’ family. Bharathy was pregnant with her second child, Chenthuran and already had a daughter Abarna who was the same age as Ni. In addition to Ni, Vasantha would help raise her grandchildren Abarna and Chenthuran for years to follow. Together they all lived in an apartment, Building 3000. A short while later, Mohan’s life partner Shirley (who had registered their marriage in Sri-Lanka), joined them in Canada also.
Then, the last child, Jeya was married off to Jeganathan, and they all moved to a house in Chester Le on August 31, 1997. Although the house may have been small, had only one washroom, and had anywhere between 10-15 people living in it, it was a house of laughter and happiness. Vasantha took the role as the main caretaker of everyone in the house, meaning she was the first to wake up, prepare breakfast for everyone, take care of the children and cook numerous meals throughout the day. This was her daily routine seven days a week. She became ammamma and mami to all the children and adults who came through the doors of that house.
In 2001 Sukumar, Ni’s brother, moved to Canada. He shared a room with Vasantha for many years. From the outside, no one would have any idea of the life and struggles she endured in Sri Lanka, as she would never speak about it to anyone and instead, she focused her energy on her job: raising Ni and her grandkids, feeding everyone in the house, and cleaning the house. Her life continued in the kitchen. And although her husband gave her many struggles throughout her life, she would not speak one ill word of him ever.
About 10 years later, everyone moved once again to another house in Markham; again 15 people under one roof. In this house, her last grandchild Amirtha was born, another child she took under her wings to feed and raise.
With the help of internet, after many decades, she reconnected with her siblings, even getting to meet a couple of them in person. They all went on to live in various parts of the world: Sri Lanka, Demark, Italy, Swiss etc. They also married different cultured people and had mixed children. Sadly, there were three brothers that she never got the chance to meet.
Although Vasantha had many wishes and desires, she did not share them with anyone as she was raised to not have any wishes and to simply cook and serve for those around her—which is exactly what she did. She spent all of her money on her children, in law children and grandchildren. One of her favourite things to do was shop for others. She liked to buy anything and everything she could get her hands on to gift to other people. She gave countless gifts throughout her life to other people, never once expecting anything in return. And if she ever did get a gift, even something as small as $10 worth, she would show everyone proudly what she received.
Her life was never about materialistic items; she didn’t care what car you drove, or how big your house was, in fact she barely noticed these things. She didn’t care what your religion, culture, caste or education was. She treated everyone equally and she raised her family to behave the same way. She was everyone’s mami, ammamma, or amma. She never let anyone leave the house without having something to eat, she never forgot your birthday, and she bought presents for every child that she could.
Vasantha made one last move to another house in Markham, this time with only Jeya, Nathan & Ni. Afraid that she was going to be home alone, while they all went to work, they forced her to join a Tamil senior group that was in the community. This group would do yoga classes, go to the casino, and do mini-trips to other cities. Initially she was shy and refused, but with a little pushing, she came out of her shell, and agreed to join. She slowly started recruiting other seniors in the family to join her and join these meetings. She would start making her own plans with her senior friends and arrange for her own transportation to and from events. This woman who was raised to not express her desires was finally going out on her own to explore and was living the life that she wasn’t able to previously. She’s acted in plays, been in the newspaper and taken part in many activities that she wouldn’t even always share with her family at home. While initially she was reserved and shy because she was starting to do things that she thought she was never allowed to do previously, the last few years of her life were her happiest.
Her last daughter Ni got married earlier this year in 2019 and Vasantha told one of her friends, she is finally done all of her duties. About a month later, she passed peacefully while in the presence of her family. Being true to herself, she couldn’t leave this world just yet, without giving somebody something for the last time. She had signed up to be an organ donor and successfully gave her lungs and liver to two different adult females. Her eyes have been recovered and are being stored for a future donation.
Vasantha loved to plays sports, travel and eat. She loved her family, especially her children, grandchildren, father and husband. She also loved her children in-law and in fact treated them better than her own children. She loved to feed people and gift people for their birthdays. She was always smiling, always. She laughed and made jokes with everyone. She was extremely easy to talk to and would not hesitate to talk to strangers. Strangers who met her always told her family how lucky they are to have her and how sweet she is. She never had a single bad thought in her mind and never said anything bad about anyone, no matter how much they may have hurt her in the past.
All in all, she had the innocence of a child, a smile that could melt your heart, a laughter that was infectious to everyone around her, eyes as kind and bright as the stars and always saw the silver lining in all situations. She was fierce and bold when it came to the safety of her family, she tirelessly provided for everyone and she always showered those around her with love and affection.
Today is her Birthday May 26th, 2019.
பிரக்ஞை 
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